Cinda @ Rainbow Circle

Cinda. My ex, my friend and always like a sister passed on just past 6pm today, (Wednesday 23 March 2005), she was strong in her belief in jesus and is now at peace. All prayers. X cheesey gareth

Cinda, dressed in orange, dancing to drummers, barefoot, will always be with us, smile for we loved her and knew her well, healing lady, christian without church, like st francis, loved nature more than churches, found brother and sisterhood around pagans and hippies, Never smoked, not even once!!, helped me give up!! rarely drank, wine would be past its sell by date in her overstocked cupboard.
will be in heaven for sure, one more angel.
Blessed Be
cheesey gareth

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Now here below are some poems Cinda has in our 2005 newsletter...


On a Sea Journey
(Mystic Experience)

I hung over the railing, the sun was setting over the sea. I sang out the grief and gratitude of my soul. Gratitude to the Spirit of Love who protects and cushions me from evil and from myself in his own miraculous ways.

Grief that has always been at the bottom of my soul, the grief I want to sparemy sensitive little boy. The grief of rejection, the pain of halfness, the eternal longing to be whole, WHOLE, the craving for the warmth, for the shelter of loving arms, and a soft warm breast, and the radiance of peace, and life enveloping, two souls becoming one.

And while I wailed and howled my grief into the air, and my tears fell down and mingled with the sea, there was nobody but me, the setting sun, and the sea, and the Divine Spirit.

And he taught me his infinite wisdom that i've been told so often and cannot seem to learn. He spoke to me softly and showed me gently:

There is nothing and no one outside you that can ever make you WHOLE. What you are looking for is the YOU INSIDE you, is God inside you the Spirit of Peace. Stop your frantic search it consumes your energy that you should turn INWARD and turn OUTWARD only to GIVE love, not to crave it. The lover in your dreams, your twin-soul, is an illusion, a symbol, an echo of the knowledge you once had about what you are really looking for

You cannot become WHOLE, cannot become ONE, with anyone IN LOVE, until you GIVE without wanting, LOVE, without expecting, SURRENDER yourself without hoping.

For the want, the expectation, the hope, crush you when they are crushed. True love is uplifting and never destructive. There is a deep, deep longing based on a memory of the golden land where you were before birth. The memory is too vague to remember, but too strong to ignore, too strong to let you feel at home on this Earth, in the confines of your earthly body.

You have been given this memory as a constant stimulus to search until you find. And not until you find this higher You inside you, will the Spirit be able to fly to the Home it remembers and craves

Inspiration by the sea

the sea knows more 
of life and death than any man
so open up in wonder and awe
pray to her, if you can.
She'll share the wisdom that she has
collected through the ages
and you will listen with respect
the while she foams and rages.
Her waves conceal
what we can't feel
or know, when we don't listen

The ecstasy she can provide
when we watch the sunlight glisten
on the white foam
on which alone
the essence of life's not missing.

13 dec 1984

Just to know that you exist
makes my life worth while.
I will recall the chances missed
when I recall your smile.
For love can flow
and love can grow
when the source is divine.
It's flowing round
from soul to soul
a long and silver line.
A circle now
or warmth and light
that gives me strength and peace
to pass to those
who need it most
the love that I release.
You gave me this
and you exist
even if I never see you
for what you give
has made me live
even if I cannot be you.
The night is gone
the light of dawn 
illumines my darkened soul

For just a spell
you've made me well
you've made me light and whole.
Now let it stay
and light my way.
The dark and lonely nights
will be ablaze with light of day
that beats the man-made lights.
In times of anger
grief or hate
I'll simply close my eyes
recall the peace
and all around
my heart the sun will rise
I'll let it shine
the light divine
and share it with this earth
and all who are 
upon this star
that's what your love is worth

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Updated 23 March 2005 Home